Weeding

Disclaimer: This is not my regular post. Not that the Lord isn't merciful to me to show me things of Himself or that I don't continually learn HUGE lessons about how I'm so not the point and that He is everything, but I never really made this blog more than just our daily activities, home decorating, and just stupid stuff I do. But I wanted to share this. And may share more in the future, but I just wanted to warn you that you're getting my heart here - not an update on the new lamps I bought for the guest bedroom (although they're ballin!)

So we all agree that weeding flower beds are not so fun. Some love to plant, upkeep, water, and tend gardens that produce flowers or fruits and veggies. I am none of the above. I don't really like any of it. I'm just not a green thumb kinda girl. But above all, I definitely don't like weeding.

Well, thats all my flower beds have been this spring. Weeds. Like George of the Jungle weeds. So stinkin thick! Its incredible how FAST weeds grow. Unreal. Eric and I finally planted some bushes in the beds near the front door a couple weeks ago, but that was it, leaving it up to me fill the rest in and to make sure weeds don't grow back, aka mulch. Needless to say, I've been putting it off. And so the weeds grew. Fast. Fast like a kid chasing the icecream man truck on a hot summer day.

For some reason, although I think it was guilt of having the WORST. LOOKING. BEDS. EVER on the cul-de-sac and how I at least owe it to the neighbors to not be the outcast, I got the urge to do something about it. So yesterday I went to Lowes (I was a Home Depot girl all the way until they decided that military discounts were something they weren't going to do anymore so they lost my loyalty. And my money.) and got $95 worth of mulch, flowers and perennials to do this bad boy.

That was the easy part. Picking out flowers and dreaming up what I wanted the beds to look like. But I knew I couldn't avoid the several hours of weeding that I knew was ahead of me. You see, it wasn't just weeds - it was CRAB GRASS (please cue the Jaws music) Crab grass sucks. Not stinks. Sucks. You can't just pull it up. You have to shovel it out. The roots go so deep and it spreads itself wide, planting itself over and over so it makes the mangled jungle of grass and weeds. No bueno.

So after Britt went to sleep lastnight, I grabbed a beer (you think I'm kidding... I'm not), my shovel and garden gloves and WENT TO TOWN. For 2 hours. And I'm not even done. The weeds aren't all gone. I haven't even planted anything yet.

Ok, let me get to my point. Cause there is one, I promise. As I dug and dug. And dug. And the Spirit's sweet voice spoke into my heart and told me that my overgrown weedy flower beds are just like my heart. Choked full of sin. And I can try to cover up or mow over it for a quick fix to make it look decent for a time but that in reality it didn't actually remove the sin. As I continued to dig, I was overcome with the picture of how hard it is to battle sin. To truly win over sin it must DIE. It must be uprooted. Its easy to memorize verses with patience for when I feel impatient. Verses for anger when I'm mad at the guy who cut me off, and verses for contentment when I get tired of my clothes. But that doesn't win the battle. That doesn't rip out at the core. My flesh is strong, rooted deep. There is only One who can remove it. Only by the power of the Spirit can my heart change at all. And as little fun as weeding is, so much less fun is the weeding of my heart. Its painful, shaming and at times utterly devastating to see the wickedness of my heart smack in the face. But isn't it a gift? Isn't it absolutely beautiful when you fall so badly that you realize that its not you doing good. It never is. Its the grace of God and Spirit doing the work. The One who wooed me to Himself in the first place. The One who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. He is bigger, more powerful over sin. For He conquered the grave, raising Himself up from the grave and He reigns forevermore. And even in my broken state, He called me to Himself, made me clean, and now walks with me everyday, picking me up every time I fall, carrying me even if I think I'm doing it all myself.

So, weeding is no fun. But even admist the pain of having the roots of sin dug from my heart, I am able to praise my Sweet Savior for having mercy on my soul to show me my wretchedness, that way He may be evermore glorified in me and draw me into sweeter intimacy with Him.

Living room floor update!

Well here it is! Finally showing you pictures of what the floors look like with all the furniture AND a rug!:) It took me forrrrreeevvver to find a rug. If it was the right size and price, I didn't like it. Or I'd like one but the largest it would come was 8x10 and we were wanting a 9x12. Or it would be the right size and I'd love it and it would cost $2500. Yeah, not happening. I got this one off of esalerugs.com after seeing a post from the Little Green Notebook about a rug she bought. They have a TON of rugs, mostly Persian. Which isn't typically my style, but I wanted something classic with a modern twist. So I looked for one with colors of pinks, orange, yellow, navy blue and teal. I searched that website for HOURS and finally found one.:) It's not EVERYTHING I dreamed of and more, but I liked it alot, it was HUGE and it was under $1000. Done.:) There are so many colors it could go with anything which is great for someone like me who gets bored so quickly. All I need to do it make curtains, which are these and then the living room is complete! Well... until I get bored with something and want to paint it.:)

The medallion in the middle is my favorite. I loooove the orange.

Just a few of the reason I absolutely adore you...

You dance for me in the living room. And in the bathroom when we are getting ready in the morning. And in the kitchen making dinner. And covertly in the stores while we shop, ducking behind racks and displays to make sure no one sees you but all the while gettin' down on your bad self.
You get up in the middle of the night if Britt wakes up so I don't have to.
You make up your own words to songs, and even more often, just make up your own songs entirely.
You make me laugh so hard I can hardly breathe.
You don't hold grudges.
You love, love, LOVE cool nights with the windows down in the car and the radio blaring so you can sing to your hearts content.
You sing to Britt. All the time. And she loves it.
You are really really good with all children, not jut your own.
You are the most fun person I've ever been around.
You let me name our daughter after you.
You can, and actually like, eating sushi or salad for dinner even though it's not a mans meal.
You spontaneously burst into a beat boxing session at any given moment.
The glass is always half full to you.
You taught me how to throw a baseball.
You fill up my car with gas even though you barely drive it.
You are extremely loyal.
You push the toothpaste up from the bottom of the tube so I always have toothpaste readily available.
You make me feel beautiful and desired by whistling, making cat calls and telling me I'm the hottest girl you've ever seen. Daily.
You are gentle and kind.
You put the toilet paper on so the paper runs off the top. Because you know thats how I like it. Even though you like to run off from the bottom.
You have NEVER been in a bad mood. Ever.
Family and friends are so important to you and you will do anything to cultivate and maintain those relationships regardless of the distance.
You learned to like coffee just for me.
You genuinely love and like my family.
You feed and let Ellen out every morning.
You are diligent in spending time with Jesus every morning.
You leave voicemails on my phone in song form every time you're gone on a trip.
You don't take sports too seriously, therefore you never mope because your team lost.
After you work out, you stand in front of me and flex, and make me guess what you worked that day.
You are extremely generous to others and get so excited when there is an opportunity to give.
You are witty and funny. But not at other peoples expense.
You let me paint. And repaint. And repaint. Not just walls but whatever I want.
You have never felt sorry for yourself. Moping is not apart of your vocabulary.
You validate my feelings and speak Truth to me at the same time.
You love Britt.
You love me.
You love Jesus.

And if you only did those last three things, I would be the luckiest girl in the world.

I love you with my whole heart Eric Britt Miller. You are a gift that was molded just for me and I thank our sweet Savior for allowing me to enjoy you.

The Stud

This was left on my voicemail by Eric this morning. It was sung to the tune of "You Are My Sunshine". Quotations are him talking.

you are my best friend
in all the world man
i love you so much
that i would eat sand
if you would ever
feel like you could do this forever
i would be thrilled
to love you

(that sounded like we weren't married)

so i'm glad we're married now (this is the second verse)
i love you anyhow (i dont know why i wouldn't love you)
i know i have a unibrow (because I don't pluck it)
but at least you're not a cow
this is the worst song
i could ever think of
but i still love you so much
that i could think of.

Best way to start my morning. He's incredible.:)